“Well I could be angry but you’re not worth the fight, and besides I’m moving on.” yelyahwilliams -moving on
I can’t please everyone and I will never be able to. There will never be enough time in the world, certain situations will be a hindrance, and people change. I still feel like I am somewhat the same person that I was 10 years ago. I am silly and adventurous, daring, reserved, outgoing, shy all at the same time.
On the other hand, a lot has changed in the past ten years. I’ve had 7 different jobs, I’ve made mistakes, I’ve grown from those mistakes, I am married, I’m a mommy, I graduated high school and community college, I can drive now, I live in a new town, I’ve made new friends and lost some, I’ve lost family members and gained some… I’ve been on trips and met people who have changed my life for the better.
All of those things have impacted my life in one way or another, but being married and having a baby has changed my life drastically. In SO many ways. I’ve lost a lot of friends. I’d say it is partially my fault, I mean I was in Payson a lit while Tim and I were dating and when I wasn’t he was in the valley with me. The weekends were reserved for us. In my opinion, if you know someone is your soulmate, you would do everything in your power to nurture and protect that relationship and when people don’t understand…it is really hard.
And it doesn’t get easier once you’re married. People aren’t going to understand the sanctity of a marriage, especially when the examples they have had are diminished to divorce, affairs, and selfishness.
I’ve found my soulmate in Tim. He understands all of my thoughts and beliefs and he has every intention of nurturing our relationship. Both of our parents are still together, and although their marriages were by no means perfect, they have set great examples for us to follow.
My son is my life right now. I am still breastfeeding, I stay home with him, everything I do I do for him and my husband and God. Wherever I go, so does my son. I rarely get time away from him, and although once and a while it is needed, even just a bubble bath alone or sleeping without him for a few hours, I miss him so much when I am not with him. He grew and was formed inside of my body and the bond we share is like no other and unless you are a mother yourselves, its hard to understand.
I truly enjoy being with my husband and I feel like I don’t get enough alone time with him and it makes me sad. He works so hard for our family and I appreciate all he does so that I can stay home with Theodore…but I miss him. On the weekends, its time for us. The weekdays I/we spend with friends and in our church and I love it but I feel like the weekends are reserved for my family. If it works out that I can be with friends on the weekends and my family can be with me, that its like a bonus. I love my friends and I miss my friends and I want to nurture those relationships as well, but my family comes first.
My life is changing and so are my friends lives. Some changes happen faster than others, and some will come in a later time and its all okay. I realize I can’t keep all of my friends, or for one reason or another, they don’t want my friendship anymore…and its okay. Life goes on. Friends will come and go, but my family will always be there. I will be there as much as I can to love, support and uplift my friends as well as my family. I will not, however, be mocked, put down, or made a joke by anyone, including “friends” for putting my family first.
If anyone cannot be understanding of that, then they don’t need to be in my life. I don’t wish anything bad on them, but I need people in my life who support me, lovingly correct me, support me, and cheer me on. Being a mom and wife can be challenging enough and the added drama is highly unnecessary.
My family is my life, and I like it that way.